作词 : Tom Cardy 作曲 : Tom Cardy 编曲 : Tom Cardy 制作人 : Tom Cardy On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you. What do you do? My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and—that's a One Critical fail. Steve, what do you do? Well, I believe in anticipation, my rogue would try and hide behind a tree—okay, I rolled a One That's another critical fail. Tom, what does your human bard do? Active Perception Check ...That's a Natural 20 Let's ****ing go
I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes These mother****ers mean to harm us And they got to go, so come on, get 'em now! You picked the wrong day to **** around with my Tight crew, oh ho There's no escaping it, I can perceive you And here's what we're gonna do
Me and my boys gonna mess you up I rolled a One, I rolled a One, **** My boys are otherwise engaged So I'm gonna bring it all myself
Hey, I forgot, you're supposed to tell me what I see, right? Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit. So, you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter— I cast Vicious Mockery. Nat 20, let's go
You're a short mother****er and nobody likes you SHORT! Everybody says "Look how ****ing short that guy is" And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships And when you were born, everybody thought That you were just a head, but then the doctor said "Wait, this stupid mutha****in' tiny short ass Baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I hate it"
Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure. Perception Check, please Nat 20, let's go! You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CHILD It's always a kid Specifically the child you've been looking for for the last 15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'll be better. ****, his body's just lying there, right? Right? Yes...? Don't—
Loot that body (Gotta loot that body now!) Loot that body! (Gotta loot that mother****er!) Playing my flute when I loot that dead kid's body Bitch
[00:00.000] 作词 : Tom Cardy [00:00.129] 作曲 : Tom Cardy [00:00.258] 编曲 : Tom Cardy [00:00.387] 制作人 : Tom Cardy [00:00.517] On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you. What do you do? [00:06.100] My half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and—that's a One [00:09.148] Critical fail. Steve, what do you do? [00:10.765] Well, I believe in anticipation, my rogue would try and hide behind a tree—okay, I rolled a One [00:15.001] That's another critical fail. Tom, what does your human bard do? [00:18.164] Active Perception Check [00:19.700] ...That's a Natural 20 [00:20.681] Let's ****ing go [00:22.182] [00:23.079] I feel it in my fingers [00:25.138] I feel it in my toes [00:27.421] These mother****ers mean to harm us [00:30.104] And they got to go, so come on, get 'em now! [00:32.366] You picked the wrong day to **** around with my [00:34.558] Tight crew, oh ho [00:36.659] There's no escaping it, I can perceive you [00:38.766] And here's what we're gonna do [00:39.978] [00:41.155] Me and my boys gonna mess you up [00:43.490] I rolled a One, I rolled a One, **** [00:45.724] My boys are otherwise engaged [00:47.824] So I'm gonna bring it all myself [00:49.301] [00:49.734] Hey, I forgot, you're supposed to tell me what I see, right? [00:52.108] Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit. [00:54.414] So, you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter— [00:56.665] I cast Vicious Mockery. Nat 20, let's go [00:57.452] [00:59.038] You're a short mother****er and nobody likes you [01:02.740] SHORT! [01:02.960] Everybody says "Look how ****ing short that guy is" [01:05.019] And that stops you from forming meaningful relationships [01:07.840] And when you were born, everybody thought [01:09.707] That you were just a head, but then the doctor said [01:12.114] "Wait, this stupid mutha****in' tiny short ass [01:14.319] Baby got a tiny little itty bitty body and I hate it" [01:16.437] [01:16.887] Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure. Perception Check, please [01:20.842] Nat 20, let's go! [01:21.883] You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CHILD [01:24.394] It's always a kid [01:25.224] Specifically the child you've been looking for for the last 15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives [01:29.640] Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'll be better. ****, his body's just lying there, right? Right? [01:37.240] Yes...? Don't— [01:38.056] [01:38.944] Loot that body (Gotta loot that body now!) [01:40.962] Loot that body! (Gotta loot that mother****er!) [01:43.195] Playing my flute when I loot that dead kid's body [01:47.326] Bitch
