Drinkers: Come on you old pest Fetch a bottle of your best What's the nectar of the day?
Théardier: Here, try this lot Guaranteed to hit the spot Or I'm not Théardier
Drinkers: Gissa glass a rum Landlord, over here!
Théardier: Right away, you scum Right away, Monsieur
Diners: God this place has gone to hell So you tell me every year
Théardier: My band of soaks My den of dissolutes My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts. My sons of whores Spent their lives in my inn Homing pigeons homing in They fly through my doors And their money's as good as yours
Welcome, Monsieur Sit yourself down And meet the best innkeeper in town. As for the rest, All of 'em crooks Rooking their guestsand cooking the books.
Seldom do you see Honest men like me A gent of good intent Who's content to be
Master of the house Doling out the charm Ready with a handshake and an open palm Tells a saucy tale Makes a little stir Customers appreciate a bon-viveur Glad to do a friend a favor Doesn't cost me to be nice But nothing gets you nothing Everything has got a little price!
Master of the house Keeper of the zoo Ready to relieve them of a sou or two Watering the wine Making up the weight Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight Everybody loves a landlord Everybody's bosom friend I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the house Quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by! Servant to the poor Butler to the great Comforter, philosopher,And lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Everybody's chaperone But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Enter Monsieur, lay down your load Unlace your boots And rest from the road This weighs a ton Travel's a curse But here we strive to lighten your purse Here the goose is cooked Here the fat is fried And nothing's overlooked till I'm satisfied...
Food beyond compare Food beyond belief Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef Kidney of a horse Liver of a cat Filling up the sausages with this and that Residents are more than welcome Bridal suite is occupied Reasonable charges Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge 'em for the lice Extra for the mice Two percent for looking in the mirror twice Here a little slice There a little cut Three percent for sleeping with the window shut When it comes to fixing prices There are a lot of tricks he knows How it all increases All those bits and pieces Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
Master of the house Quick to catch yer eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by Servant to the poor Butler to the great Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! Everybody's boon companion Gives 'em everything he's got Dirty bunch of geezers Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
Mrs. Théardier: I used to dream That I would meet a prince But God Almighty, Have you seen what's happened since? Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! Comforter, philosopher? and lifelong ****! Cunning little brain Regular Voltaire Thinks he's quite a lover But there's not much there What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse God knows how I've lasted Living with this bastard in the house!
Théardier & Drinkers: Master of the house! Mrs. Théardier: Master and a half! Théardier & Drinkers: Comforter, philosopher Mrs. Théardier: Ah, don't make me laugh! Théardier & Drinkers: Servant to the poor! Butler to the great! Mrs. Théardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse! Théardier: Everybody raise a glass! Mrs. Théardier: Raise it up the master's arse! Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
[00:03.25]Drinkers: Come on you old pest [00:04.32]Fetch a bottle of your best [00:05.58]What's the nectar of the day? [00:06.66] [00:08.74]Théardier: Here, try this lot [00:09.75]Guaranteed to hit the spot [00:11.36]Or I'm not Théardier [00:12.86] [00:13.65]Drinkers: Gissa glass a rum [00:14.13]Landlord, over here! [00:15.84] [00:16.30]Théardier: Right away, you scum [00:17.74]Right away, Monsieur [00:18.77] [00:19.40]Diners: God this place has gone to hell [00:21.14]So you tell me every year [00:22.30] [00:24.37]Théardier: [00:25.31]My band of soaks [00:27.24]My den of dissolutes [00:29.02]My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts. [00:32.75]My sons of whores [00:34.82]Spent their lives in my inn [00:38.08]Homing pigeons homing in [00:40.57]They fly through my doors [00:45.79]And their money's as good as yours [00:48.72] [00:52.00]Welcome, Monsieur [00:53.99]Sit yourself down [00:55.52]And meet the best innkeeper in town. [01:00.94]As for the rest, [01:02.74]All of 'em crooks [01:04.46]Rooking their guestsand cooking the books. [01:07.89] [01:09.85]Seldom do you see [01:13.11]Honest men like me [01:15.82]A gent of good intent [01:18.25]Who's content to be [01:20.88] [01:21.94]Master of the house [01:23.45]Doling out the charm [01:24.90]Ready with a handshake and an open palm [01:27.70]Tells a saucy tale [01:29.10]Makes a little stir [01:30.56]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur [01:33.32]Glad to do a friend a favor [01:36.16]Doesn't cost me to be nice [01:38.96]But nothing gets you nothing [01:40.50]Everything has got a little price! [01:42.99] [01:44.60]Master of the house [01:46.00]Keeper of the zoo [01:47.40]Ready to relieve them of a sou or two [01:50.16]Watering the wine [01:51.60]Making up the weight [01:52.95]Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight [01:55.83]Everybody loves a landlord [01:58.50]Everybody's bosom friend [02:01.22]I do whatever pleases [02:02.58]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end! [02:04.79] [02:05.49]Master of the house [02:06.77]Quick to catch yer eye [02:08.10]Never wants a passerby to pass him by! [02:10.85]Servant to the poor [02:12.23]Butler to the great [02:13.58]Comforter, philosopher,And lifelong mate! [02:16.34]Everybody's boon companion [02:19.10]Everybody's chaperone [02:21.70]But lock up your valises [02:23.14]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone! [02:24.91] [02:29.98]Enter Monsieur, lay down your load [02:33.40]Unlace your boots [02:35.18]And rest from the road [02:38.75]This weighs a ton [02:40.26]Travel's a curse [02:42.20]But here we strive to lighten your purse [02:47.66]Here the goose is cooked [02:50.77]Here the fat is fried [02:53.50]And nothing's overlooked till I'm satisfied... [02:57.97] [02:59.00]Food beyond compare [03:00.41]Food beyond belief [03:01.85]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef [03:04.59]Kidney of a horse [03:06.01]Liver of a cat [03:07.44]Filling up the sausages with this and that [03:10.19]Residents are more than welcome [03:13.02]Bridal suite is occupied [03:15.74]Reasonable charges [03:17.10]Plus some little extras on the side! [03:20.83] [03:21.14]Charge 'em for the lice [03:22.54]Extra for the mice [03:24.08]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice [03:26.62]Here a little slice [03:27.96]There a little cut [03:29.34]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut [03:32.02]When it comes to fixing prices [03:34.81]There are a lot of tricks he knows [03:37.55]How it all increases [03:38.93]All those bits and pieces [03:40.38]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows! [03:42.32] [03:43.05]Master of the house [03:44.34]Quick to catch yer eye [03:45.66]Never wants a passerby to pass him by [03:48.37]Servant to the poor [03:49.74]Butler to the great [03:51.08]Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate! [03:53.78]Everybody's boon companion [03:56.50]Gives 'em everything he's got [03:59.14]Dirty bunch of geezers [04:00.50]Jesus! What a sorry little lot! [04:02.58] [04:03.74]Mrs. Théardier: [04:08.77]I used to dream [04:10.24]That I would meet a prince [04:13.22]But God Almighty, [04:14.70]Have you seen what's happened since? [04:19.46]Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit! [04:23.40]Comforter, philosopher? and lifelong ****! [04:27.64]Cunning little brain [04:29.63]Regular Voltaire [04:31.78]Thinks he's quite a lover [04:33.46]But there's not much there [04:35.82]What a cruel trick of nature [04:39.38]Landed me with such a louse [04:42.05]God knows how I've lasted [04:43.27]Living with this bastard in the house! [04:45.16] [04:46.06]Théardier & Drinkers: Master of the house! [04:47.42]Mrs. Théardier: Master and a half! [04:48.68]Théardier & Drinkers: Comforter, philosopher [04:49.98]Mrs. Théardier: Ah, don't make me laugh! [04:51.32]Théardier & Drinkers: Servant to the poor! Butler to the great! [04:54.17]Mrs. Théardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate! [04:56.84]Everybody bless the landlord! [04:59.59]Everybody bless his spouse! [05:02.35]Théardier: Everybody raise a glass! [05:05.30]Mrs. Théardier: Raise it up the master's arse! [05:07.95]Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house! [05:10.66]
