Well it took me a woman late last night I's three-fourths drunk she looked all right 'Til she started peelin' off her onion gook She took off her wig said how do I look I's high flyin' bare naked out the window Well sometimes I might get drunk Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk Don't hurt me none don't hurt my pride 'Cause I got my little lady right by my side She's a tryin' a hide pretendin' she don't know me I's out there paintin' on the old wood shed When a can a black paint it fell on my head I went down to scrub and rub But I had to sit in back off the tub Cost a quarter half price Well my telephone rang it would not stop It's President Kennedy callin' me up He said "My friend Bob what do we need To make the country grow " I said "My friend John Brigitte Bardot Anita Ekberg Sophia Loren country will grow" Well I got a woman five feet short She yells and hollers an' squeals an' snorts She tickles my nose pats me on my head Blows me over and kicks me out of bed She's a man eater meat grinder bad looser Oh there ain't no use in me workin' all the time I got a woman who works herself blind Works up to her britches up to her neck Writes me letters and sends me checks She's a humdinger folk singer Late one day in the middle of the week Eyes were closed I was half asleep I chased me a woman up the hill Right in the middle of an air drill I jumped a fallout shelter I jumped the string bean I jumped the TV dinner I jumped the shot gun Now the man on the stand he wants my vote He's a runnin' for office on the ballot note He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple Tellin' me he loves all kinds a people He's eatin' bagels he's eatin' pizza He's eatin' chitins Oh set me down on a television floor I'll flip the channel to number four Out of the shower comes a football man With a bottle of oil in his hand greasy kid stuff What I wanna know Mr Football Man is What do you do about Willy Mays Martin Luther King Olatunji oh Well the funniest woman I ever seen Was the great granddaughter of Mr Clean She takes about fifteen baths a day Wants me to grow a mustache on my face she's insane Well ask me why I'm drunk all the time It levels my head and eases my mind I just walk along and stroll and sing I see better days and I do better things I catch dinosaurs make love to Elizabeth Taylor Catch hell from Richard Burton
[00:10.53]Well it took me a woman late last night [00:12.85]I's three-fourths drunk she looked all right [00:18.17]'Til she started peelin' off her onion gook [00:20.37]She took off her wig said how do I look [00:23.87]I's high flyin' bare naked out the window [00:34.58]Well sometimes I might get drunk [00:37.03]Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk [00:39.84]Don't hurt me none don't hurt my pride [00:41.88]'Cause I got my little lady right by my side [00:45.44]She's a tryin' a hide pretendin' she don't know me [00:57.03]I's out there paintin' on the old wood shed [00:59.65]When a can a black paint it fell on my head [01:04.09]I went down to scrub and rub [01:06.03]But I had to sit in back off the tub [01:09.47]Cost a quarter half price [01:17.83]Well my telephone rang it would not stop [01:20.02]It's President Kennedy callin' me up [01:24.08]He said "My friend Bob what do we need [01:26.02]To make the country grow " [01:27.09]I said "My friend John Brigitte Bardot [01:29.34]Anita Ekberg [01:33.46]Sophia Loren country will grow" [01:45.99]Well I got a woman five feet short [01:48.74]She yells and hollers an' squeals an' snorts [01:52.74]She tickles my nose pats me on my head [01:55.30]Blows me over and kicks me out of bed [01:58.55]She's a man eater meat grinder bad looser [02:11.31]Oh there ain't no use in me workin' all the time [02:14.11]I got a woman who works herself blind [02:16.43]Works up to her britches up to her neck [02:18.68]Writes me letters and sends me checks [02:21.06]She's a humdinger folk singer [02:35.76]Late one day in the middle of the week [02:38.33]Eyes were closed I was half asleep [02:40.83]I chased me a woman up the hill [02:43.27]Right in the middle of an air drill [02:46.37]I jumped a fallout shelter [02:48.81]I jumped the string bean [02:51.12]I jumped the TV dinner I jumped the shot gun [03:00.63]Now the man on the stand he wants my vote [03:02.94]He's a runnin' for office on the ballot note [03:05.44]He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple [03:07.89]Tellin' me he loves all kinds a people [03:11.38]He's eatin' bagels he's eatin' pizza [03:16.08]He's eatin' chitins [03:26.01]Oh set me down on a television floor [03:28.83]I'll flip the channel to number four [03:31.33]Out of the shower comes a football man [03:33.40]With a bottle of oil in his hand greasy kid stuff [03:41.35]What I wanna know Mr Football Man is [03:43.48]What do you do about Willy Mays [03:47.60]Martin Luther King Olatunji oh [04:00.05]Well the funniest woman I ever seen [04:02.50]Was the great granddaughter of Mr Clean [04:06.06]She takes about fifteen baths a day [04:08.32]Wants me to grow a mustache on my face she's insane [04:20.00]Well ask me why I'm drunk all the time [04:22.75]It levels my head and eases my mind [04:27.19]I just walk along and stroll and sing [04:29.76]I see better days and I do better things [04:33.15]I catch dinosaurs make love to Elizabeth Taylor [04:37.79]Catch hell from Richard Burton