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  • The first time I met Sarah
    She said that if I wanted to ever be an artist some day
    I would have to learn how to dig deep inside myself
    And create something of expression
    And I remember telling her I already sold ten thousand records
    And felt like I had put in enough time to
    At least call myself an artist
    And she said that creating entertainment
    And creating art are very different things

    And she said that the only way that
    You can really create art is if it's honest expression of something
    You can't express yourself if you don't know who you are
    I was upset that she said that
    But there was still a part of me that was inspired.
    And uh, looking back on the experience of creating music
    And putting everything I can into it
    I have learned that it wasn't worth...

    It wasn't worth losing the ones that I had to to get here.
    And so she challenged me to write a poem
    About the things I wish I knew how to say.
    That-that's what this poem is: a response to that
    I guess we can take shortcuts in the darkest corners
    Because the highest earners scale the mountain
    With the quickest and the thick of it
    And I would give up any of it to slow down
    Cause maybe the sound won't be quick
    But we can at least make it painless
    And this game is the distribution of weight
    Angles lights trying to be a star
    While getting hit by comets and vomit
    Which we eat to keep down negative YouTube comments

    The spotlight isn't part of the skillset
    The feel void of cohesive thought
    When this love gives a lot and takes very little
    It's brittle, so you have to love what you do and stay true
    And find the right formula to not be bothered by the side effects
    Hide your legs, hide your neck
    Hide your tears, and hide your fears
    And pretend I'm the fearless leader you want me to be
    Because without this fake personality
    I would be performing in the streets

    Watching friends turn enemies or even worse
    Distant memories, or even worse
    Love turned to apathy with a distant voice in my head whispering,
    "This is the price you have to pay if you want to sell anything,"
    And no doubt any of us would sell out if only somebody was offering
    It's not about the art, it's about the swallowing
    It's about the hallowing
    It's about the empty vessel you want me to be
    So I can record at record speed
    And I'm sorry
    But to me it doesn't mean anything

    So please don't give up on love
    And don't let your hopes fall up
    And don't throw up every time you think about what you could be
    Because the hope was real
    And everything we feel is a legitimate experience
    I just wish you didn't put your faith in me
    Bank notices or selfishness
    Alcohol or somebody's death or somebody's words
    By birth or by choice:
    We will all someday find ourselves shaking
    And barefoot before our lives collapsing
    Our homes lying like dry bones in heaps of plaster and broken beams
    Despair can route us there

    Let us calcify our bodies
    Stunted into a petrified forest
    Poisoned and frozen by tragedy
    Or we can choose perspective
    Let suffering run off like the rain into the sea to reveal the truth beneath
    The rock below, the peace and the floods of pain, the process
    The promise that every scrap of our lives will be redeemed
    And reused as the builder makes us new
    That every ounce of tragedy and ash will water
    And fertilize a garden of unimaginable beauty and fruit
    That all of this goes somewhere, yields something
    That perseverance will produce character
    And character of hope that every tear really will be wiped away
    That we will one day be complete
    And that therefore, along the way, we can sing
  • [00:01.73]The first time I met Sarah
    [00:02.53]She said that if I wanted to ever be an artist some day
    [00:06.51]I would have to learn how to dig deep inside myself
    [00:10.16]And create something of expression
    [00:11.35]And I remember telling her I already sold ten thousand records
    [00:14.40]And felt like I had put in enough time to
    [00:16.00]At least call myself an artist
    [00:17.96]And she said that creating entertainment
    [00:20.65]And creating art are very different things
    [00:24.25]
    [00:24.55]And she said that the only way that
    [00:25.95]You can really create art is if it's honest expression of something
    [00:29.29]You can't express yourself if you don't know who you are
    [00:32.43]I was upset that she said that
    [00:34.37]But there was still a part of me that was inspired.
    [00:37.52]And uh, looking back on the experience of creating music
    [00:41.60]And putting everything I can into it
    [00:43.70]I have learned that it wasn't worth...
    [00:46.59]
    [00:48.73]It wasn't worth losing the ones that I had to to get here.
    [00:52.33]And so she challenged me to write a poem
    [00:54.22]About the things I wish I knew how to say.
    [00:56.67]That-that's what this poem is: a response to that
    [01:01.64]I guess we can take shortcuts in the darkest corners
    [01:04.14]Because the highest earners scale the mountain
    [01:07.38]With the quickest and the thick of it
    [01:09.48]And I would give up any of it to slow down
    [01:11.07]Cause maybe the sound won't be quick
    [01:12.66]But we can at least make it painless
    [01:14.51]And this game is the distribution of weight
    [01:16.52]Angles lights trying to be a star
    [01:17.92]While getting hit by comets and vomit
    [01:19.71]Which we eat to keep down negative YouTube comments
    [01:22.38]
    [01:23.38]The spotlight isn't part of the skillset
    [01:25.61]The feel void of cohesive thought
    [01:27.48]When this love gives a lot and takes very little
    [01:29.83]It's brittle, so you have to love what you do and stay true
    [01:32.32]And find the right formula to not be bothered by the side effects
    [01:35.57]Hide your legs, hide your neck
    [01:36.97]Hide your tears, and hide your fears
    [01:38.57]And pretend I'm the fearless leader you want me to be
    [01:40.76]Because without this fake personality
    [01:42.70]I would be performing in the streets
    [01:44.75]
    [01:46.27]Watching friends turn enemies or even worse
    [01:47.97]Distant memories, or even worse
    [01:49.36]Love turned to apathy with a distant voice in my head whispering,
    [01:51.60]"This is the price you have to pay if you want to sell anything,"
    [01:54.66]And no doubt any of us would sell out if only somebody was offering
    [02:00.34]It's not about the art, it's about the swallowing
    [02:01.98]It's about the hallowing
    [02:02.88]It's about the empty vessel you want me to be
    [02:04.57]So I can record at record speed
    [02:07.35]And I'm sorry
    [02:08.93]But to me it doesn't mean anything
    [02:10.67]
    [02:12.46]So please don't give up on love
    [02:13.83]And don't let your hopes fall up
    [02:15.34]And don't throw up every time you think about what you could be
    [02:19.69]Because the hope was real
    [02:22.42]And everything we feel is a legitimate experience
    [02:27.57]I just wish you didn't put your faith in me
    [02:31.00]Bank notices or selfishness
    [02:32.71]Alcohol or somebody's death or somebody's words
    [02:35.29]By birth or by choice:
    [02:37.13]We will all someday find ourselves shaking
    [02:40.09]And barefoot before our lives collapsing
    [02:43.08]Our homes lying like dry bones in heaps of plaster and broken beams
    [02:48.03]Despair can route us there
    [02:50.14]
    [02:50.29]Let us calcify our bodies
    [02:51.44]Stunted into a petrified forest
    [02:53.79]Poisoned and frozen by tragedy
    [02:56.03]Or we can choose perspective
    [02:58.78]Let suffering run off like the rain into the sea to reveal the truth beneath
    [03:03.22]The rock below, the peace and the floods of pain, the process
    [03:07.26]The promise that every scrap of our lives will be redeemed
    [03:11.15]And reused as the builder makes us new
    [03:13.60]That every ounce of tragedy and ash will water
    [03:15.94]And fertilize a garden of unimaginable beauty and fruit
    [03:19.09]That all of this goes somewhere, yields something
    [03:22.44]That perseverance will produce character
    [03:24.69]And character of hope that every tear really will be wiped away
    [03:28.58]That we will one day be complete
    [03:30.61]And that therefore, along the way, we can sing