I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at JuilliardTook every acting workshop I couldAnd I dreamed of HollywoodWhile I read my Uta Hagen and studied the BardHit the boards and paid my dues And got phenomenal rave reviews I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone But the years have come and gone And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Just like they've done for the last 50 years Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride Oh, the critics, they used to say I was the new OlivierThought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe CannesAw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB meThe only place you might possibly see me Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland It ain't exactly what I plannedBut I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin 34 shows every day And every time it's the same I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow" But what's the difference, that's all behind me now Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my pride And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I should be there on BroadwayKnockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men" But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes Again and again and again and again and again and again and again Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! That's an African bull elephant... And there it is, the backside of water! What have I done with my life?! I shoulda listened when my grandfather said"Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I liedCause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
I starred in every high school play Blew every drama teacher away I graduated first in my class at JuilliardTook every acting workshop I couldAnd I dreamed of HollywoodWhile I read my Uta Hagen and studied the BardHit the boards and paid my dues And got phenomenal rave reviews I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt I was sure that Tarantino would be callin' me on the phone Annie Leibovitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone But the years have come and gone And I'm sorry to say that's not the way that it's all worked out I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin' their ears Just like they've done for the last 50 years Now I'm laughin' at my own jokes but I'm cryin' inside Cause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride Oh, the critics, they used to say I was the new OlivierThought I'd be the toast of Sundance or maybe CannesAw, but don't bother tryin' to IMDB meThe only place you might possibly see me Is ridin' my little boat around Adventureland It ain't exactly what I plannedBut I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin 34 shows every day And every time it's the same I would've killed if I'd been in "Speed The Plow" But what's the difference, that's all behind me now Cause I'm payin' the rent and I'm swallowin my pride And I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I should be there on BroadwayKnockin' 'em dead in "12 Angry Men" But instead I'm here tellin' these lame jokes Again and again and again and again and again and again and again Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet! That's an African bull elephant... And there it is, the backside of water! What have I done with my life?! I shoulda listened when my grandfather said"Why don't you major in business instead?" Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died And I'll probably work forever as a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride Skipper Dan is the name And I'm doin' 34 shows every day And every time it's the same Look at those hippos, they're wigglin their ears Somebody shoot me cause I'm bored to tears Always said I'd be famous... I guess that I liedCause I'm workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride I'm still workin' on the Jungle Cruise ride
