In the community that stresses macho male sexual stories as a high of all conversation I was an under-developed immature fat little dude that never got laid and was constantly razzed: “Oh, poor little kid!” It bothered me more so because I was horny and frequently had to make up stories like “Uh…when I went on vacation I met this chick and we ****ed and she loved it!” Etcetera, etcetera… This typical pubescent problem was an effector during the height of my problems with my father and stepmom You know, the typical wicked-stepmom story And so, I moved to both grandparents and four sets of aunts' and uncles' and so fourth and so on within the year And in eight grade my mom had no choice to take me in because my dad packed my stuff and drove me to her house in the morning and left me there She was pissed I accumulated quite a healthy complex not to mention the complexion Then one day I discover the most ultimate form of expression ever—— Marijua** Oh boy, POT! I could escape all day long and not have to have routine nervous breakdowns once a week Only being stoned for the first few time was what I claimed as sth I would do for the rest of my life And I would practically do anything to ensure my supply of the fantastic weed Trevor was a guy I hated but resorted to becoming friends with because he was the only person I could get pot from He was the kingpin Trevor, Ace, John and Derren All white-trash, lowlife scums of the earth according to the jocks had been going to this girl's house after school and they invited me We got to the door and a very fat girl let us in It wasn't obvious to me for over an hour that this girl seemed kind of quite Until one of the guys pointed out that she was in a special-ed class I'm sure a lot of kids would call her a retard and some just slow And at this time, and still to this day I would call her quiet and illiterate but not retarded The object of the guys who had been going there for the past month was to steal booze from the downstairs basement den of her house While others distracted her by opening covers and doors and returned to eat all the food One would go down and take a fifth and then exit out the downstairs So we'd do this routine every other day and got away with it for, oh, about a month And during that month it happened to be the epitome of my mental abuse from my mother It turned out that pot didn't help me escape my troubles too well anymore and I was actually enjoying doing rebellious things like stealing booze and busting store windows and- And nothing ever mattered I decided within the next month I'll not sit on the roof and think about jumping But I'll actually kill myself And I wasn't going out from this world without actually knowing what it was like to get laid So one day after school I went to the girl's house alone and invited myself in and she offered me some twinkies And I sat on her lap and I said “Let's ****” And I touched her t*ts and she went into her bedroom and got undressed in front of me And I watched and realised that it was actually happening So I tried to **** her but didn't know how and I asked her if she had ever done this before And she said “A lot of times” It's mainly with her cousin I got groseed out very heavily with how her vagi** smelled and her sweat reeked So I left My conscience grew to where I couldn't go to school for a week and when I went back I got in-house suspension for skipping And that day the girl's father came in and screaming and accusing someone of taking advantage of his daughter And so during lunch, a rumour started and by the next day Everyone was waiting for me to yell and cuss and spit at me (and)callin' me “the retard-****er” I coudn't handle the ridicule So I got high and drunk and walked down to the train tracks and laid down And put two big pieces of cement on my chest and legs and I waited for the eleven o'clock train And the train came closer and closer and closer And it went on the next track besides me insted of over me The tension from school had an effect on me and so I coudn't attend the school anymore And the train scared me enough to rehabilitate myself and my…My lifting weights an-and mathematics seemed to be improving so I became less manically depressed But still haven't had any freinds because I…I hate everyone… for they were so phoney
[00:04.44]In the community that stresses macho male sexual stories [00:07.64]as a high of all conversation [00:10.04]I was an under-developed immature fat little dude [00:12.78]that never got laid [00:14.07]and was constantly razzed: [00:16.58]“Oh, poor little kid!” [00:18.61]It bothered me more so [00:20.12]because I was horny and frequently had to [00:22.24]make up stories like [00:23.86]“Uh…when I went on vacation I met this chick [00:26.40]and we ****ed and she loved it!” [00:28.21]Etcetera, etcetera… [00:30.29]This typical pubescent problem was an effector [00:32.66]during the height of my problems with my father and stepmom [00:35.79]You know, the typical wicked-stepmom story [00:39.66]And so, I moved to both grandparents and [00:42.19]four sets of aunts' and uncles' [00:43.85]and so fourth and so on within the year [00:46.58]And in eight grade [00:47.32]my mom had no choice to take me in [00:49.03]because my dad packed my stuff and [00:50.56]drove me to her house in the morning [00:52.02]and left me there [00:53.80]She was pissed [00:56.60]I accumulated quite a healthy complex [00:59.21]not to mention the complexion [01:01.52]Then one day I discover the most ultimate form [01:03.71]of expression ever—— [01:05.70]Marijua** [01:07.51]Oh boy, POT! [01:08.68]I could escape all day long and not have to [01:11.17]have routine nervous breakdowns once a week [01:14.39]Only being stoned for the first few time was [01:16.34]what I claimed as sth I would do for the rest of my life [01:20.05]And I would practically do anything [01:21.49]to ensure my supply of the fantastic weed [01:26.22]Trevor was a guy I hated [01:27.74]but resorted to becoming friends with [01:29.50]because he was the only person I could get pot from [01:32.55]He was the kingpin [01:34.23]Trevor, Ace, John and Derren [01:36.20]All white-trash, lowlife scums of the earth [01:38.38]according to the jocks [01:39.39]had been going to this girl's house after school [01:41.66]and they invited me [01:43.61]We got to the door and a very fat girl let us in [01:46.59]It wasn't obvious to me for over an hour [01:48.55]that this girl seemed kind of quite [01:50.70]Until one of the guys pointed out that [01:52.12]she was in a special-ed class [01:55.35]I'm sure a lot of kids would call her a retard [01:58.09]and some just slow [01:59.40]And at this time, and still to this day [02:00.84]I would call her quiet and illiterate [02:02.77]but not retarded [02:05.08]The object of the guys [02:06.00]who had been going there for the past month [02:07.74]was to steal booze [02:08.60]from the downstairs basement den of her house [02:11.78]While others distracted her [02:12.99]by opening covers and doors [02:14.32]and returned to eat all the food [02:15.86]One would go down and take a fifth [02:17.60]and then exit out the downstairs [02:20.00]So we'd do this routine every other day [02:21.58]and got away with it for, oh, about a month [02:24.38]And during that month it happened to be [02:25.96]the epitome of my mental abuse from my mother [02:28.94]It turned out that pot didn't help me escape [02:30.98]my troubles too well anymore [02:32.46]and I was actually enjoying doing rebellious things [02:34.78]like stealing booze and busting store windows and- [02:37.73]And nothing ever mattered [02:39.26]I decided within the next month [02:40.63]I'll not sit on the roof and think about jumping [02:42.67]But I'll actually kill myself [02:44.56]And I wasn't going out from this world [02:45.89]without actually knowing what it was like to get laid [02:50.38]So one day after school [02:51.28]I went to the girl's house alone and invited myself in [02:54.32]and she offered me some twinkies [02:55.89]And I sat on her lap and I said [02:57.67]“Let's ****” [02:59.68]And I touched her t*ts and she went into her bedroom [03:01.11]and got undressed in front of me [03:03.16]And I watched and realised that [03:04.33]it was actually happening [03:05.78]So I tried to **** her but didn't know how [03:07.52]and I asked her if she had ever done this before [03:10.13]And she said “A lot of times” [03:11.22]It's mainly with her cousin [03:13.41]I got groseed out very heavily [03:15.03]with how her vagi** smelled and her sweat reeked [03:17.69]So I left [03:19.28]My conscience grew to where [03:20.29]I couldn't go to school for a week [03:21.84]and when I went back [03:22.67]I got in-house suspension for skipping [03:25.01]And that day [03:25.50]the girl's father came in and screaming [03:27.26]and accusing someone of [03:28.20]taking advantage of his daughter [03:31.38]And so during lunch, a rumour started [03:32.85]and by the next day [03:34.27]Everyone was waiting for me to [03:35.57]yell and cuss and spit at me [03:36.89](and)callin' me “the retard-****er” [03:40.41]I coudn't handle the ridicule [03:41.77]So I got high and drunk [03:43.32]and walked down to the train tracks and laid down [03:45.44]And put two big pieces of cement [03:47.01]on my chest and legs [03:47.99]and I waited for the eleven o'clock train [03:50.66]And the train came closer and closer and closer [03:52.71]And it went on the next track besides me [03:55.13]insted of over me [03:57.51]The tension from school had an effect on me [04:00.32]and so I coudn't attend the school anymore [04:02.68]And the train scared me enough to rehabilitate myself [04:05.22]and my…My lifting weights an-and mathematics [04:08.88]seemed to be improving so I became less manically depressed [04:12.00]But still haven't had any freinds [04:13.18]because I…I hate everyone… [04:16.29]for they were so phoney
