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  • Eddie the eunuch was a weasel
    Nasty as an old man's nose
    Making believin' he was evil
    Struttin' in his mama's clothes
    You know that Eddie had a bad connection
    Never had a chance to ball
    Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
    Dreaming he was ten feet tall
    But now Eddie the eunuch is a rock 'n roll critic
    Sucking like a superstar, slicker than a shoe-shine
    Quicker than a two-time, Eddie, what a thang you are
    Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
    Putting other people down
    Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
    'Cause he wasn't Jackson Browne
  • Eddie the eunuch was a weasel
    Nasty as an old man's nose
    Making believin' he was evil
    Struttin' in his mama's clothes
    You know that Eddie had a bad connection
    Never had a chance to ball
    Sleeping in the wrong direction, baby
    Dreaming he was ten feet tall
    But now Eddie the eunuch is a rock 'n roll critic
    Sucking like a superstar, slicker than a shoe-shine
    Quicker than a two-time, Eddie, what a thang you are
    Eddie makes a damn good livin', baby
    Putting other people down
    Eddie couldn't ever forgive them baby
    'Cause he wasn't Jackson Browne