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  • How to write a song...
    If you write it on guitar
    Place your guitar upon your knee
    If you write it on piano
    Don't do that
    Place your fingers on the
    Strings of your guitar
    Not your piano
    If you write it on piano, don't do that
    Now strum or press to get a feeling
    This might take a little time
    Now think of something sad or something funny
    Which inevitably brings us to the rhyme
    Let's assume you're just an asshole
    And there's nothing in your brain
    It might help if you remember
    These helpful little hints
    Don't try to rhyme silver with anything yeah
    That goes for orange as well
    Now notice how cleverly
    I just used them both
    And all I have to do
    Is rhyme well
    You've got to be very tricky
    'cause to avoid these words takes talent
    So never ever trap yourself like that
    Or you'll end up saying words like
    ballent, phallant, dallant,
    wallant, callant, hallant
    Oh well, I'm sure you'll catch on fast!
    Now some tips on tempo
    And some subjects to avoid
    Like the use of the word baby
    Unless you really have to say it
    As to tempo or as we say time
    That's strictly up to you because
    That depends on how you play it
    Now let's do one!
    Now think of a rhyme!
    That's it, you're doing fine
    Now think of the good time
    We just had together
    If you practice these instructions
    On the boat of song you'll sail
    And if you listen very carefully
    I'm sure you shallant fail
    I said sallant, yeah shallant!
    That rhymes with talent!
    That takes talent!
    That is talent!
    Oh oh my God, I've done it again
    Shallant rhymes with talent
    That takes talent!
    That is talent!
    OH I can't stand it!
    Oh my God
    I've done it again!
  • How to write a song...
    If you write it on guitar
    Place your guitar upon your knee
    If you write it on piano
    Don't do that
    Place your fingers on the
    Strings of your guitar
    Not your piano
    If you write it on piano, don't do that
    Now strum or press to get a feeling
    This might take a little time
    Now think of something sad or something funny
    Which inevitably brings us to the rhyme
    Let's assume you're just an asshole
    And there's nothing in your brain
    It might help if you remember
    These helpful little hints
    Don't try to rhyme silver with anything yeah
    That goes for orange as well
    Now notice how cleverly
    I just used them both
    And all I have to do
    Is rhyme well
    You've got to be very tricky
    'cause to avoid these words takes talent
    So never ever trap yourself like that
    Or you'll end up saying words like
    ballent, phallant, dallant,
    wallant, callant, hallant
    Oh well, I'm sure you'll catch on fast!
    Now some tips on tempo
    And some subjects to avoid
    Like the use of the word baby
    Unless you really have to say it
    As to tempo or as we say time
    That's strictly up to you because
    That depends on how you play it
    Now let's do one!
    Now think of a rhyme!
    That's it, you're doing fine
    Now think of the good time
    We just had together
    If you practice these instructions
    On the boat of song you'll sail
    And if you listen very carefully
    I'm sure you shallant fail
    I said sallant, yeah shallant!
    That rhymes with talent!
    That takes talent!
    That is talent!
    Oh oh my God, I've done it again
    Shallant rhymes with talent
    That takes talent!
    That is talent!
    OH I can't stand it!
    Oh my God
    I've done it again!