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  • Welcome, M'sieur
    Sit yourself down
    And meet the best Innkeeper in town
    As for the rest,
    All of 'em crooks
    Rooking their guests
    And cooking the books.
    Seldom do you see
    Honest men like me
    A gent of good intent
    Who's content to be
    Master of the house
    Doling out the charm
    Ready with a handshake
    And an open palm
    Tells a saucy tale
    Makes a little stir
    Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
    Glad to do a friend a favor
    Doesn't cost me to be nice
    But nothing gets you nothing
    Everything has got a little price!
    Master of the house
    Keeper of the zoo
    Ready to relieve 'em
    Of a sou or two
    Watering the wine
    Making up the weight
    Pickin' up their knick-knacks
    When they can't see straight
    Everybody loves a landlord
    Everybody's bosom friend
    I do whatever pleases
    Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
    Théardier & Drinkers:
    Master of the house
    Quick to catch yer eye
    Never wants a passerby
    To pass him by
    Servant to the poor
    Butler to the great
    Comforter, philosopher,
    And lifelong mate!
    Everybody's boon companion
    Everybody's chaperone
    Théardier:
    But lock up your valises
    Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
    Enter M'sieur
    Lay down your load
    Unlace your boots
    And rest from the road
    Taking his bag
    This weighs a ton
    Travel's a curse
    But here we strive
    To lighten your purse.
    Here the goose is cooked
    Here the fat is fried
    And nothing's overlooked
    Till I'm satisfied...
    Food beyond compare
    Food beyond belief
    Mix it in a mincer
    And pretend it's beef
    Kidney of a horse
    Liver of a cat
    Filling up the sausages
    With this and that
    Residents are more than welcome
    Bridal suite is occupied
    Reasonable charges
    Plus some little extras on the side!
    Charge 'em for the lice
    Extra for the mice
    Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
    Here a little slice
    There a little cut
    Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
    When it comes to fixing prices
    There are a lot of tricks he knows
    How it all increases
    All those bits and pieces
    Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
    Théardier & Chorus:
    Master of the house
    Quick to catch yer eye
    Never wants a passerby
    To pass him by
    Servant to the poor
    Butler to the great
    Comforter, philosopher,
    And lifelong mate!
    Everybody's boon companion
    Gives 'em everything he's got
    Théardier:
    Dirty bunch of geezers
    Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
    Mme. Théardier:
    I used to dream
    That I would meet a prince
    But God Almighty,
    Have you seen what's happened since?
    'Master of the house?'
    Isn't worth me spit!
    `Comforter, philosopher'
    - and lifelong ****!
    Cunning little brain
    Regular Voltaire
    Thinks he's quite a lover
    But there's not much there
    What a cruel trick of nature
    Landed me with such a louse
    God knows how I've lasted
    Living with this bastard in the house!
    Théardier & Drinkers:
    Master of the house!
    Mme. Théardier:
    Master and a half!
    Théardier & Drinkers:
    Comforter, philosopher
    Mme. Théardier:
    Ah, don't make me laugh!
    Théardier & Drinkers:
    Servant to the poor. Butler to the great.
    Mme. Théardier:
    Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
    Théardier & Drinkers:
    Everybody bless the landlord!
    Everybody bless his spouse!
    Théardier:
    Everybody raise a glass
    Mme. Théardier:
    Raise it up the master's arse.
    All:
    Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!

  • [00:06.52]Welcome, M'sieur
    [00:08.28]Sit yourself down
    [00:10.16]And meet the best Innkeeper in town
    [00:14.81]As for the rest,
    [00:16.47]All of 'em crooks
    [00:18.19]Rooking their guests
    [00:19.61]And cooking the books.
    [00:23.11]Seldom do you see
    [00:25.90]Honest men like me
    [00:29.44]A gent of good intent
    [00:32.01]Who's content to be
    [00:36.30]Master of the house
    [00:37.99]Doling out the charm
    [00:39.54]Ready with a handshake
    [00:41.04]And an open palm
    [00:42.71]Tells a saucy tale
    [00:44.32]Makes a little stir
    [00:45.93]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
    [00:49.07]Glad to do a friend a favor
    [00:52.17]Doesn't cost me to be nice
    [00:55.37]But nothing gets you nothing
    [00:56.81]Everything has got a little price!
    [01:01.55]Master of the house
    [01:03.14]Keeper of the zoo
    [01:04.74]Ready to relieve 'em
    [01:06.25]Of a sou or two
    [01:07.76]Watering the wine
    [01:09.29]Making up the weight
    [01:10.85]Pickin' up their knick-knacks
    [01:12.38]When they can't see straight
    [01:13.95]Everybody loves a landlord
    [01:17.06]Everybody's bosom friend
    [01:20.11]I do whatever pleases
    [01:21.36]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
    [01:24.24]Théardier & Drinkers:
    [01:24.64]Master of the house
    [01:26.28]Quick to catch yer eye
    [01:27.85]Never wants a passerby
    [01:29.29]To pass him by
    [01:30.93]Servant to the poor
    [01:32.40]Butler to the great
    [01:33.93]Comforter, philosopher,
    [01:35.37]And lifelong mate!
    [01:37.03]Everybody's boon companion
    [01:39.95]Everybody's chaperone
    [01:42.08]Théardier:
    [01:42.45]But lock up your valises
    [01:44.54]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
    [01:47.65]Enter M'sieur
    [01:48.93]Lay down your load
    [01:54.41]Unlace your boots
    [01:56.01]And rest from the road
    [01:57.79]Taking his bag
    [02:00.98]This weighs a ton
    [02:02.12]Travel's a curse
    [02:02.96]But here we strive
    [02:04.21]To lighten your purse.
    [02:07.69]Here the goose is cooked
    [02:11.47]Here the fat is fried
    [02:13.90]And nothing's overlooked
    [02:16.55]Till I'm satisfied...
    [02:20.82]Food beyond compare
    [02:22.48]Food beyond belief
    [02:23.98]Mix it in a mincer
    [02:25.20]And pretend it's beef
    [02:27.08]Kidney of a horse
    [02:28.56]Liver of a cat
    [02:30.14]Filling up the sausages
    [02:31.64]With this and that
    [02:33.30]Residents are more than welcome
    [02:36.35]Bridal suite is occupied
    [02:39.48]Reasonable charges
    [02:40.93]Plus some little extras on the side!
    [02:45.65]Charge 'em for the lice
    [02:47.18]Extra for the mice
    [02:48.62]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
    [02:51.80]Here a little slice
    [02:53.27]There a little cut
    [02:54.82]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
    [02:57.91]When it comes to fixing prices
    [03:00.94]There are a lot of tricks he knows
    [03:04.03]How it all increases
    [03:05.59]All those bits and pieces
    [03:07.06]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
    [03:09.37]Théardier & Chorus:
    [03:09.86]Master of the house
    [03:11.61]Quick to catch yer eye
    [03:13.19]Never wants a passerby
    [03:14.61]To pass him by
    [03:16.18]Servant to the poor
    [03:17.70]Butler to the great
    [03:19.20]Comforter, philosopher,
    [03:20.64]And lifelong mate!
    [03:22.26]Everybody's boon companion
    [03:25.22]Gives 'em everything he's got
    [03:27.60]Théardier:
    [03:28.00]Dirty bunch of geezers
    [03:29.91]Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
    [03:35.05]Mme. Théardier:
    [03:36.67]I used to dream
    [03:39.23]That I would meet a prince
    [03:42.14]But God Almighty,
    [03:43.50]Have you seen what's happened since?
    [03:46.67]'Master of the house?'
    [03:50.03]Isn't worth me spit!
    [03:51.80]`Comforter, philosopher'
    [03:53.69]- and lifelong ****!
    [03:55.64]Cunning little brain
    [03:57.54]Regular Voltaire
    [03:59.43]Thinks he's quite a lover
    [04:00.90]But there's not much there
    [04:03.19]What a cruel trick of nature
    [04:05.19]Landed me with such a louse
    [04:10.42]God knows how I've lasted
    [04:12.26]Living with this bastard in the house!
    [04:15.36]Théardier & Drinkers:
    [04:15.67]Master of the house!
    [04:16.77]Mme. Théardier:
    [04:17.01]Master and a half!
    [04:18.41]Théardier & Drinkers:
    [04:18.62]Comforter, philosopher
    [04:19.85]Mme. Théardier:
    [04:20.06]Ah, don't make me laugh!
    [04:21.77]Théardier & Drinkers:
    [04:22.11]Servant to the poor. Butler to the great.
    [04:24.23]Mme. Théardier:
    [04:24.49]Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
    [04:27.42]Théardier & Drinkers:
    [04:27.65]Everybody bless the landlord!
    [04:30.70]Everybody bless his spouse!
    [04:33.50]Théardier:
    [04:33.78]Everybody raise a glass
    [04:35.74]Mme. Théardier:
    [04:35.95]Raise it up the master's arse.
    [04:39.38]All:
    [04:39.97]Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
    [04:45.78]

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