“He just was in so much pain That he, you know, took it out on his mom And took it out on his dad And took it out on his siblings But it’s almost like he didn’t— he didn’t feel worthy because he was rejected And I don’t know how anybody feels with having your whole family reject you” “He was searching for whatever made him feel like he wasn’t alone And that he wasn’t so different” “Well I know that some people will say that I treated him maternally, took care of him But I like to think that it was more I was trying to nurture him rather than take care of him Trying to nurture who he was and get him to let him do his art, let him do his music And encourage him to get better at it as opposed to trying to stifle him But also not trying to be the mom, but trying to be a nurturing girlfriend—or friend” “So who would support him?” “Me” “And what would he do all day while you were at work?” “It was kind of funny cause sometimes he would just sit there and watch TV for four hours And you’d think he wasn’t creating But he’d be playing guitar while he was doing that or think of stuff later and then, you know, and you go out for a few hours and you come back and there’s a painting on the wall or there’s a big comic strip— or whatever, he wrote a song, you know, recorded it.” “He hated being humiliated. He hated it. And if he ever thought he was humiliated, then you’d see the rage come out. And he was very careful about and stubborn about how the way the artwork was presented because he didn’t want to be humiliated.”
“He’s home. And he comes downstairs in his little whitey tighties. No shirt. Barefoot. Up and in his undies. And uh—hairy dong coming out. That’s another thing I got sick of looking out. And he’s standing there with this tape in his hand and I go, ‘What’s that?’ And he goes, ‘It’s the master cut to my new album. Can I put it on the stereo?’ And I go, ‘ Yeah! Turn it up. Up, up, up.’ Cause I listen to music really loud. And I look at him and I go, ‘Oh my god. Oh my god.’ And I almost start crying.”
“It just, every week it got worst. And sometimes he would come home, I think to hide. And it was really bad. He started getting sores and losing weight and nodding out. I was pretty sure he knew I knew. That I decided one time to just confront him. And I went up to his bedroom. He’s sitting on the side of the bed. And he was crying because I had just arrived. And he knew it was breaking my heart. That I—and I talked to him about it. And he burst into tears. And he was just ashamed."
...end
[00:01.35]“He just was in so much pain [00:03.21]That he, you know, [00:04.57]took it out on his mom [00:06.02]And took it out on his dad [00:08.06]And took it out on his siblings [00:11.02]But it’s almost like he didn’t— [00:12.90]he didn’t feel worthy [00:14.03]because he was rejected [00:17.90]And I don’t know [00:18.84]how anybody feels with [00:20.06]having your whole family reject you” [00:25.05]“He was searching for [00:26.52] whatever made him feel like [00:29.06] he wasn’t alone [00:30.82]And that he wasn’t so different” [00:33.34]“Well I know that [00:34.63]some people will say that [00:36.82] I treated him maternally, [00:38.87]took care of him [00:40.49]But I like to think that [00:41.24] it was more I was trying to [00:42.11]nurture him rather than take care of him [00:44.28]Trying to nurture [00:45.38] who he was and get him to [00:47.41]let him do his art, [00:48.01] let him do his music [00:49.24]And encourage him [00:49.99]to get better at it [00:50.71] as opposed to trying to stifle him [00:52.51]But also not [00:53.43] trying to be the mom, [00:54.41] but trying to be a nurturing [00:55.65] girlfriend—or friend” [00:59.18]“So who would support him?” [01:00.61]“Me” [01:02.87]“And what would he do all day [01:05.01] while you were at work?” [01:06.56]“It was kind of funny [01:07.68]cause sometimes he would just sit there [01:09.06]and watch TV for four hours [01:09.79]And you’d think [01:10.88] he wasn’t creating [01:12.41]But he’d be playing guitar [01:13.48] while he was doing that [01:14.26] or think of stuff later and then, [01:15.25]you know, [01:15.76]and you go out for a few hours [01:16.49] and you come back [01:17.56]and there’s a painting on the wall [01:18.64] or there’s a big comic strip— [01:19.49]or whatever, [01:20.02]he wrote a song, [01:20.74]you know, recorded it.” [01:54.91]“He hated being humiliated. [01:56.13]He hated it. [01:58.16]And if he ever thought [01:59.30] he was humiliated, [02:01.16]then you’d see the rage come out. [02:03.95] And he was very careful about [02:05.33] and stubborn about [02:07.84] how the way the artwork was presented [02:09.89] because he didn’t want to be humiliated.” [02:13.20] [02:13.62]“He’s home. [02:15.57]And he comes downstairs in his little [02:17.64]whitey tighties. [02:18.12]No shirt. Barefoot. [02:18.81]Up and in his undies. [02:20.62]And uh—hairy dong coming out. [02:21.42]That’s another thing [02:25.41]I got sick of looking out. [02:27.19] And he’s standing there with this tape [02:28.37] in his hand and I go, [02:29.42]‘What’s that?’ [02:29.84]And he goes, [02:30.77]‘It’s the master cut to my new album. [02:31.89]Can I put it on the stereo?’ [02:34.33]And I go, [02:35.44]‘ Yeah! Turn it up. Up, up, up.’ [02:36.37]Cause I listen to music really loud. [02:37.18]And I look at him and I go, [02:40.68]‘Oh my god. Oh my god.’ [02:42.63] And I almost start crying.” [02:44.88] [03:51.05]“It just, every week it got worst. [03:55.34]And sometimes he would come home, [03:57.31] I think to hide. [03:59.89] And it was really bad. [04:01.48] He started getting sores and [04:02.50]losing weight and nodding out. [04:06.48] I was pretty sure he knew I knew. [04:11.77]That I decided one time to [04:12.79]just confront him. [04:16.41]And I went up to his bedroom. [04:18.92]He’s sitting on the side of the bed. [04:20.98]And he was crying [04:22.73]because I had just arrived. [04:25.49]And he knew [04:26.97] it was breaking my heart. [04:28.90]That I—and I talked to him about it. [04:32.37]And he burst into tears. [04:33.54] And he was just ashamed." [04:51.04] [04:55.26]...end
