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  • He said 'Come on now babe
    Let's take a little drive
    Go slumming down the Carson's in my black X-5.'
    Samples from the Clinique counter and up the escalator
    And then a knowing glance from last night's cute, talkative waiter
    Surprise, surprise
    Going through five hundred king Egyptian size count satin cotton sheets
    A smirk hello from the tanning salon boy
    My man mumbled, he realized
    'They told me that she cheats.'
    'Oh, don't you start! Jealous heart.'
    Jealous heart. Jealous heart
    I put one foot forward and one foot back
    My hand upon my hip
    I gave my hair a flip
    I can't help it
    What's he think I got all this loving for
    Well guess what
    He don't pay my bills no more
    Well I guess
    All this stuff
    That'll befall ya and bedevil ya
    And try ya
    I'll move back in with Yaiyai
    My daughter, we named her Maureen
    Can you believe it
    I never believed it, or her
    Because she called you Connie
    The Don Juan he, my husband, loved redheards and thought this name
    Would turn his baby into the same
    And each time I see you, Connie
    Yes?
    I say God bless, my dear departed Peter
    That he never had to meet her
    His beautiful granddaughter who dyed
    It would have killed him again
    Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
    When she turned 15 behind my back
    You lived with me at that time
    Yes, I did
    You were such a cute and smart and obedient and happy and pretty little kid
    My beautiful granddaughter who dyed
    Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
    When she turned fifteen behind my back
    And which Kevin were you dating
    I mean letting take advantage of you then
    the black one, or the white one
    Once upon a time there were two Kevins
    You mean two jerks
    Once upon a time there were two Kevins
    And being with one Kevin was being in one heaven
    And not being with the other swell was being in another, well
    Kevin and Kevin were best friends since seven
    La la la-la-la la la
    When they met at Joey Meyer's
    Red White and Blue Demon basketball seminar tutorial clinic day care camp
    For underprivileged kids
    And overstimulated brats.
    And they're both wearing vintage throw-back fourty five dollar
    Nineteen eighty three White Sox hats
    And now at H-F
    Point guard and shooting guard
    And now at H-F
    Point guard and shooting guard
    And the drill team shouting themselves deaf
    And then back in the back yard
    Yours, Yaiyai
    With the one and then the next night with the other one and one big secret
    I mean two
    But little did I know that they knew
    They knew
    And would slap each other on the back
    About what it was they'd do
    They knew
    They knew
    Well, we can talk about it, Connie
    But often, memories are better off sung
    Remember when you were young
    Remember when I was young
    Remember when you were young
    Remember when I was young
    La la la...
    La la la...
  • He said 'Come on now babe
    Let's take a little drive
    Go slumming down the Carson's in my black X-5.'
    Samples from the Clinique counter and up the escalator
    And then a knowing glance from last night's cute, talkative waiter
    Surprise, surprise
    Going through five hundred king Egyptian size count satin cotton sheets
    A smirk hello from the tanning salon boy
    My man mumbled, he realized
    'They told me that she cheats.'
    'Oh, don't you start! Jealous heart.'
    Jealous heart. Jealous heart
    I put one foot forward and one foot back
    My hand upon my hip
    I gave my hair a flip
    I can't help it
    What's he think I got all this loving for
    Well guess what
    He don't pay my bills no more
    Well I guess
    All this stuff
    That'll befall ya and bedevil ya
    And try ya
    I'll move back in with Yaiyai
    My daughter, we named her Maureen
    Can you believe it
    I never believed it, or her
    Because she called you Connie
    The Don Juan he, my husband, loved redheards and thought this name
    Would turn his baby into the same
    And each time I see you, Connie
    Yes?
    I say God bless, my dear departed Peter
    That he never had to meet her
    His beautiful granddaughter who dyed
    It would have killed him again
    Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
    When she turned 15 behind my back
    You lived with me at that time
    Yes, I did
    You were such a cute and smart and obedient and happy and pretty little kid
    My beautiful granddaughter who dyed
    Her gorgeous red-brown hair black
    When she turned fifteen behind my back
    And which Kevin were you dating
    I mean letting take advantage of you then
    the black one, or the white one
    Once upon a time there were two Kevins
    You mean two jerks
    Once upon a time there were two Kevins
    And being with one Kevin was being in one heaven
    And not being with the other swell was being in another, well
    Kevin and Kevin were best friends since seven
    La la la-la-la la la
    When they met at Joey Meyer's
    Red White and Blue Demon basketball seminar tutorial clinic day care camp
    For underprivileged kids
    And overstimulated brats.
    And they're both wearing vintage throw-back fourty five dollar
    Nineteen eighty three White Sox hats
    And now at H-F
    Point guard and shooting guard
    And now at H-F
    Point guard and shooting guard
    And the drill team shouting themselves deaf
    And then back in the back yard
    Yours, Yaiyai
    With the one and then the next night with the other one and one big secret
    I mean two
    But little did I know that they knew
    They knew
    And would slap each other on the back
    About what it was they'd do
    They knew
    They knew
    Well, we can talk about it, Connie
    But often, memories are better off sung
    Remember when you were young
    Remember when I was young
    Remember when you were young
    Remember when I was young
    La la la...
    La la la...