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  • The average unmarried female
    Basic'lly insecure
    Due to some long frustration
    May react
    With psychosomatic symptoms
    Difficult to endure
    Affecting the upper respiratory tract
    In other words,
    Just from waiting around
    For that little band of gold
    A person can develop a cold
    You can spray her wherever you figure
    The streptococci lurk
    You can give her a shot
    For whatever she's got
    But it just won't work
    If she's tired of getting the fish-eye
    From the hotel clerk
    A person
    Can develop a cold
    The female remaining single
    Just in the legal sense
    Shows a neurotic tendency
    See note:
    Note: Chronic organic syndromes
    Toxic and hypertense
    Involving the eye,
    The ear and the nose and throat
    In other words,
    Just from worrying
    Whether the wedding is on or off,
    A person
    Can develop a cough
    You can feed her all day
    With the Vitamin A
    And the Bromo Fizz
    But the medicine never
    Gets anywhere near
    Where the trouble is
    If she's getting a kind
    Of name for herself
    And the name ain't 'his'
    A person
    Can develop a cough
    And further more
    Just from stalling
    And stalling and stalling
    The wedding trip
    A person
    Can develop La grippe
    When they get on a train
    For Niag'ra
    And she can hear church bells chime
    The compartment is air conditioned
    And the mood sublime
    Then they get off at Saratoga
    For the fourteenth time
    A person
    Can develop La grippe
    La grippe, La post nasal drip
    With the wheezes
    And the sneezes
    And a sinus that's really a pip!
    For a lack of community property
    And a feeling she's getting too old
    A person
    Can develop
    A bad, bad cold!
  • The average unmarried female
    Basic'lly insecure
    Due to some long frustration
    May react
    With psychosomatic symptoms
    Difficult to endure
    Affecting the upper respiratory tract
    In other words,
    Just from waiting around
    For that little band of gold
    A person can develop a cold
    You can spray her wherever you figure
    The streptococci lurk
    You can give her a shot
    For whatever she's got
    But it just won't work
    If she's tired of getting the fish-eye
    From the hotel clerk
    A person
    Can develop a cold
    The female remaining single
    Just in the legal sense
    Shows a neurotic tendency
    See note:
    Note: Chronic organic syndromes
    Toxic and hypertense
    Involving the eye,
    The ear and the nose and throat
    In other words,
    Just from worrying
    Whether the wedding is on or off,
    A person
    Can develop a cough
    You can feed her all day
    With the Vitamin A
    And the Bromo Fizz
    But the medicine never
    Gets anywhere near
    Where the trouble is
    If she's getting a kind
    Of name for herself
    And the name ain't 'his'
    A person
    Can develop a cough
    And further more
    Just from stalling
    And stalling and stalling
    The wedding trip
    A person
    Can develop La grippe
    When they get on a train
    For Niag'ra
    And she can hear church bells chime
    The compartment is air conditioned
    And the mood sublime
    Then they get off at Saratoga
    For the fourteenth time
    A person
    Can develop La grippe
    La grippe, La post nasal drip
    With the wheezes
    And the sneezes
    And a sinus that's really a pip!
    For a lack of community property
    And a feeling she's getting too old
    A person
    Can develop
    A bad, bad cold!