You know what troubles me? They say that nobody ever changes Despite their impressions otherwise And despite my efforts, I'm daunted by the same faults as always. While I'm tired of their jabs, they seem ever renewed by some hidden source of sustenance. They say that living 25 years is just the amount of time it takes To harden in your mold, in flexible But I'm past that line already I shuffle down the downhill side past broken trees and decomposition The bittersweet medley that blends death with hope of the ultimate oblivion Thirsty for a time when I would sit down, my work complete Surrounded by a field of fallen enemies in defeat Orbited by planetary jewels of my own design Made happy forever by their luminance But to break out of the present was impossible. The future doesn't exist yet; the past doesn't exist anymore. They've never existed: only this, the perpetual present where we're all stuck. But it felt like the coming day would just be a replica of one before With pain and boredom, and just brief bursts of pleasure And so miserable and feeling the futility of my existence, I lifted up my voice, and to my future being I sang this lament: Swear that I will crawl out the crater To smell the land that's left when the smoke clears Swear that when I slide down the side My troubles won't be close at my heels I can't promise you will be free from the ghosts Of fear, of pain, of doubting, but You will know the faces they show you And recognize they're only a vapor You may regret the route, but here you are anyway You may regret the route, but here you are anyway You may regret the route, but here you are anyway You may regret the route, but here you are anyway Burned up, beaten down, bleak and weary Weakness is a wall that you have got around You may regret the route, but here you are anyway You may regret the route, but here you are anyway My future self cheered me with these words And it was as if, though nothing had changed in my external world, I saw my future existence and my present unified in a strange eternal present As I continued to slide down the slope of the crater's outer wall, I thought, with great clarity, about the misery that had marked my life while I was struggling, inch by inch, to the crest of that vast volcanic mouth And I saw the singed bark of the stately trees, and I looked down and saw the darkened flesh of my own singed arms It was then that I realized that I had demonstrated, in my own fragile way, the strength of the tree
[00:12.14]You know what troubles me? [00:14.25]They say that nobody ever changes [00:16.69]Despite their impressions otherwise [00:19.51]And despite my efforts, I'm daunted by the same faults as always. [00:24.93]While I'm tired of their jabs, they seem ever renewed by some hidden source of sustenance. [00:35.34]They say that living 25 years is just the amount of time it takes [00:38.44]To harden in your mold, in flexible [00:42.32]But I'm past that line already [00:44.44]I shuffle down the downhill side past broken trees and decomposition [00:49.64]The bittersweet medley that blends death with hope of the ultimate oblivion [01:20.72]Thirsty for a time when I would sit down, my work complete [01:24.38]Surrounded by a field of fallen enemies in defeat [01:27.65]Orbited by planetary jewels of my own design [01:31.86]Made happy forever by their luminance [01:35.73]But to break out of the present was impossible. [01:38.09]The future doesn't exist yet; the past doesn't exist anymore. [01:41.41]They've never existed: only this, [01:44.42]the perpetual present where we're all stuck. [01:48.32]But it felt like the coming day would just be a replica of one before [01:52.31]With pain and boredom, and just brief bursts of pleasure [01:55.99]And so miserable and feeling the futility of my existence, [02:00.49]I lifted up my voice, and to my future being I sang this lament: [02:05.95]Swear that I will crawl out the crater [02:11.07]To smell the land that's left when the smoke clears [02:16.97]Swear that when I slide down the side [02:22.04]My troubles won't be close at my heels [02:28.40]I can't promise you will be free from the ghosts [02:34.61]Of fear, of pain, of doubting, but [02:39.25]You will know the faces they show you [02:45.08]And recognize they're only a vapor [02:50.93]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [02:56.48]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [03:03.48]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [03:08.25]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [03:14.15]Burned up, beaten down, bleak and weary [03:21.76]Weakness is a wall that you have got around [03:27.31]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [03:32.95]You may regret the route, but here you are anyway [03:39.51]My future self cheered me with these words [03:41.68]And it was as if, though nothing had changed in my external world, [03:47.16]I saw my future existence and my present unified in a strange eternal present [03:53.45]As I continued to slide down the slope of the crater's outer wall, [03:57.11]I thought, with great clarity, about the misery that had marked my life [04:02.74]while I was struggling, inch by inch, to the crest of that vast volcanic mouth [04:09.99]And I saw the singed bark of the stately trees, [04:12.95]and I looked down and saw the darkened flesh of my own singed arms [04:17.36]It was then that I realized that I had demonstrated, [04:21.17]in my own fragile way, [04:23.32]the strength of the tree
