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The Hospital Song

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  • Nobody sends me birthday cards
    Nobody brings me flowers
    I'm just here for operations
    I've been out for hours
    When I come to I'll wet my bed
    `Cos when I get mad I sink so low
    As matron knows
    I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    And when I go to that seedy ward
    Up in the sky
    You'll be waiting
    With a hypodermic needle
    And a graph
    Here comes the dark
    (I'm grateful for my anaesthetic)
    Out goes the spark
    (Delirious and apathetic)
    When I come to
    I'll wet my bed
    And when I get well
    I'll take revenge
    I'll wreak my wrath
    On all blood donors
    And their sisters
    Visiting time and flowers
    When sister brings that bedpan round
    I'll piss like April showers
    I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    And when I go
    I'll die of plaster casting love
  • Nobody sends me birthday cards
    Nobody brings me flowers
    I'm just here for operations
    I've been out for hours
    When I come to I'll wet my bed
    `Cos when I get mad I sink so low
    As matron knows
    I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    And when I go to that seedy ward
    Up in the sky
    You'll be waiting
    With a hypodermic needle
    And a graph
    Here comes the dark
    (I'm grateful for my anaesthetic)
    Out goes the spark
    (Delirious and apathetic)
    When I come to
    I'll wet my bed
    And when I get well
    I'll take revenge
    I'll wreak my wrath
    On all blood donors
    And their sisters
    Visiting time and flowers
    When sister brings that bedpan round
    I'll piss like April showers
    I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    Yeh, I get off on what you give me, darling
    I get off on what you give to me
    And when I go
    I'll die of plaster casting love