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  • The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair
    Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip
    In the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade
    And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon
    To employ your testosterone
    In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV
    And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts
    Bruises and scrapes
    And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments
    And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home
    She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes
    And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth
    And that's why you
    Thank God for girls

    Holla Jesu Christe

    From Tennessee to LA

    Thank God for girls

    On your reckoning day

    You better bow down and pray
    She's so big

    She's so strong

    She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

    Thank God for girls

    Thank God for girls

    Thank God for girls

    I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though
    She isn't mine

    I think about her all the day
    And all the night it's enough to know that she's alive
    She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack
    The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act
    I wish that I could get to know her better
    But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter
    I carved her name into all the trees

    Sang a song down on one knee
    Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like
    When I was 14

    I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around

    I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate
    On a bed of nails with my pants pulled down
    Thank God for girls

    Holla Jesu Christe

    From Tennessee to LA

    Thank God for girls

    On your reckoning day

    You better bow down and pray
    She's so big

    She's so strong

    She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls

    Thank God for girls

    Thank God for girls

    Thank God for girls

    God took a rib from Adam

    Ground it up in a centrifuge machine
    Mixed it with cardamom and cloves
    Microwaved it on the popcorn setting
    While Adam was like that really hurts
    Going off into the tundra so pissed at God

    And he started lighting minor forest fires
    Stealing osprey eggs
    Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea
    Until God said Ima smite you with loneliness
    And break your heart in two

    And Adam wept and wailed

    Tearing out his hair falling on his knees
    Looked to the sky and said

    Thank God
  • [00:04.26]The girl in the pastry shop with the net in her hair
    [00:07.64]Is making a cannoli for you to take on your hiking trip
    [00:11.39]In the woods with your bros that you've known since second grade
    [00:14.39]And you may encounter dragons or ruffians and be called upon
    [00:18.30]To employ your testosterone
    [00:20.22]In a battle for supremacy and access to females glued to the TV
    [00:25.12]And even if you are victorious you may receive many cuts
    [00:28.59]Bruises and scrapes
    [00:29.58]And you will require band aids and antiseptic ointments
    [00:32.47]And tender loving kisses on your stab wounds and when you come home
    [00:36.07]She will be there waiting for you with a fire in her eyes
    [00:40.64]And a big fat cannoli to shove in your mouth
    [00:43.95]And that's why you
    [00:45.21]Thank God for girls
    [00:47.58]
    [00:49.93]Holla Jesu Christe
    [00:51.42]
    [00:52.23]From Tennessee to LA
    [00:54.01]
    [00:54.56]Thank God for girls
    [00:57.89]
    [01:00.00]On your reckoning day
    [01:01.86]
    [01:02.40]You better bow down and pray
    [01:04.73]She's so big
    [01:05.72]
    [01:07.13]She's so strong
    [01:08.18]
    [01:09.66]She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
    [01:14.39]
    [01:15.02]Thank God for girls
    [01:18.22]
    [01:19.82]Thank God for girls
    [01:20.87]
    [01:22.14]Thank God for girls
    [01:23.43]
    [01:25.90]I'm so glad I got a girl to think of even though
    [01:28.95]She isn't mine
    [01:30.16]
    [01:30.82]I think about her all the day
    [01:32.55]And all the night it's enough to know that she's alive
    [01:35.28]She says I give her sweaty palms she almost had a heart attack
    [01:38.43]The truth is that I'm just as scared I don't know how to act
    [01:41.10]I wish that I could get to know her better
    [01:42.92]But meeting up in real life would cause the illusion to shatter
    [01:46.05]I carved her name into all the trees
    [01:47.97]
    [01:48.49]Sang a song down on one knee
    [01:51.08]Looking at the underwear page of the Sears catalog like
    [01:54.27]When I was 14
    [01:55.50]
    [01:56.09]I'm levitating like a magnet turned the wrong way around
    [01:59.77]
    [02:00.56]I'm like an Indian Fakir tryna' meditate
    [02:02.38]On a bed of nails with my pants pulled down
    [02:05.46]Thank God for girls
    [02:08.72]
    [02:10.64]Holla Jesu Christe
    [02:12.34]
    [02:13.11]From Tennessee to LA
    [02:14.83]
    [02:15.44]Thank God for girls
    [02:18.66]
    [02:20.88]On your reckoning day
    [02:22.63]
    [02:23.15]You better bow down and pray
    [02:25.52]She's so big
    [02:26.39]
    [02:28.01]She's so strong
    [02:29.04]
    [02:30.51]She's so energetic in her sweaty overalls
    [02:35.35]
    [02:35.87]Thank God for girls
    [02:38.96]
    [02:40.44]Thank God for girls
    [02:41.64]
    [02:42.77]Thank God for girls
    [02:44.09]
    [02:46.48]God took a rib from Adam
    [02:48.14]
    [02:48.86]Ground it up in a centrifuge machine
    [02:51.87]Mixed it with cardamom and cloves
    [02:54.09]Microwaved it on the popcorn setting
    [02:56.34]While Adam was like that really hurts
    [02:59.78]Going off into the tundra so pissed at God
    [03:03.12]
    [03:03.74]And he started lighting minor forest fires
    [03:05.89]Stealing osprey eggs
    [03:07.22]Messing with the bees who were trying to pollinate the echinacea
    [03:10.60]Until God said Ima smite you with loneliness
    [03:14.09]And break your heart in two
    [03:15.80]
    [03:16.62]And Adam wept and wailed
    [03:18.31]
    [03:19.02]Tearing out his hair falling on his knees
    [03:23.47]Looked to the sky and said
    [03:25.38]
    [03:26.48]Thank God