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  • "Let's meet contestant number one
    He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
    Who says, "woman love his ***y smile"
    Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
    Sharon, what's your question?"
    "Contestant number one,
    I believe first impressions last forever
    So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
    And have dinner with me and my family
    Tell me what you would do to make
    That first impression really stick"
    Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
    I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
    I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
    And look your momma in the eye and tell her, "************* YOU!!!"
    Hurry up *************, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
    I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
    Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
    I'd have to walk up and bust him in his ******g lips!
    It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
    I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
    I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
    You know for only 13, she got some big *************
    After that, your dad will try to jump again
    And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
    After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
    I'd dry-************* her till I nut in my underwear

    "Now, let's me contestant number two
    He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
    Who works for the Dark Carnival
    He says women call him stretch nuts
    Sharon, let's hear your question"
    "I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
    A man who expresses himself in his own special way
    Number two, if you fell in love with me
    Exactly how would you let me know?"
    First thing, I could never love you
    You sound like a richie-*************, yo, ************* YOU!!!
    But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
    By taking all these other mother*******s outta here
    I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
    And find contestant number one and break his ******g jaw (what?!)
    Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
    I'd be blowing ******g nuggets off all day
    I'd grab your ******* and stretch em down past your waist
    Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
    I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
    Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
    When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
    I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playing
    As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
    And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!

    "Well it sounds like contestant number two
    Is just over-flowing with sensitivity, Sharon
    It's a touch choice so far
    Sharon, let's have your last question and
    See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"
    "Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
    same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
    your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!"
    Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
    And tell you that I can't believe how ******g fat you are
    I'd tell that I like the way you make your ******* shake
    And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rickie Lake!
    ************* that, you'd be jocking me quick
    I'd order you a drink and stir it with my *************
    And then to get your attention in the crowded place
    I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
    Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
    Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better
    Look, ************* you, I got a strong rap
    *************t, you don't want contestant number two
    He's mad-whack
    I walk into a bar and there he was
    Standing up by a bucket, eww, trying to ************* it
    It was a big ******g smelly, ass farm llama
    Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!
  • [00:00.37]"Let's meet contestant number one
    [00:02.74]He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
    [00:05.66]Who says, "woman love his ***y smile"
    [00:09.06]Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
    [00:12.10]Sharon, what's your question?"
    [00:13.54]"Contestant number one,
    [00:14.84]I believe first impressions last forever
    [00:16.83]So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
    [00:19.56]And have dinner with me and my family
    [00:21.39]Tell me what you would do to make
    [00:22.99]That first impression really stick"
    [00:24.98]Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
    [00:28.59]I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
    [00:32.01]I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
    [00:34.74]And look your momma in the eye and tell her, "************* YOU!!!"
    [00:38.10]Hurry up *************, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
    [00:41.21]I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
    [00:44.31]Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
    [00:47.43]I'd have to walk up and bust him in his ******g lips!
    [00:50.55]It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
    [00:53.73]I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
    [00:56.97]I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
    [00:59.94]You know for only 13, she got some big *************
    [01:03.23]After that, your dad will try to jump again
    [01:06.34]And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
    [01:09.64]After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
    [01:12.62]I'd dry-************* her till I nut in my underwear
    [01:16.76]
    [01:22.35]"Now, let's me contestant number two
    [01:25.46]He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
    [01:28.88]Who works for the Dark Carnival
    [01:31.01]He says women call him stretch nuts
    [01:33.18]Sharon, let's hear your question"
    [01:34.99]"I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
    [01:38.15]A man who expresses himself in his own special way
    [01:41.63]Number two, if you fell in love with me
    [01:44.50]Exactly how would you let me know?"
    [01:46.43]First thing, I could never love you
    [01:50.47]You sound like a richie-*************, yo, ************* YOU!!!
    [01:53.76]But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
    [01:57.18]By taking all these other mother*******s outta here
    [02:00.09]I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
    [02:03.35]And find contestant number one and break his ******g jaw (what?!)
    [02:06.83]Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
    [02:09.50]I'd be blowing ******g nuggets off all day
    [02:12.61]I'd grab your ******* and stretch em down past your waist
    [02:15.66]Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
    [02:19.03]I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
    [02:22.19]Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
    [02:25.99]When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
    [02:28.54]I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playing
    [02:31.72]As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
    [02:34.76]And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!
    [02:37.71]
    [02:45.36]"Well it sounds like contestant number two
    [02:47.23]Is just over-flowing with sensitivity, Sharon
    [02:49.66]It's a touch choice so far
    [02:51.58]Sharon, let's have your last question and
    [02:54.51]See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"
    [02:57.00]"Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
    [03:01.47]same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
    [03:06.18]your pick up line be? Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!"
    [03:09.42]Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
    [03:12.72]And tell you that I can't believe how ******g fat you are
    [03:15.89]I'd tell that I like the way you make your ******* shake
    [03:18.94]And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rickie Lake!
    [03:22.18]************* that, you'd be jocking me quick
    [03:25.28]I'd order you a drink and stir it with my *************
    [03:28.57]And then to get your attention in the crowded place
    [03:31.69]I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
    [03:34.92]Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that'll get her
    [03:38.22]Tell her that's she fat, yeah, that'll work even better
    [03:40.64]Look, ************* you, I got a strong rap
    [03:44.19]*************t, you don't want contestant number two
    [03:46.75]He's mad-whack
    [03:47.24]I walk into a bar and there he was
    [03:50.59]Standing up by a bucket, eww, trying to ************* it
    [03:53.95]It was a big ******g smelly, ass farm llama
    [03:56.94]Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!