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  • I read the news today oh boy
    About a lucky man who made the grade
    And though the news was rather sad
    I just had to laugh
    I saw the photograph
    He blew is mind out in car
    He didn't notice that the lights had changed
    A crowd of people stood and stared
    They'd seen his face before
    Nobody was really sure
    If he was from the house of lords
    I saw a film today oh boy,
    The english army had just won the war
    A crowd of people turned away
    But I just had to look
    Having read the book
    I'd love to turn you on
    Woke up, fell out of bed
    Dragged a comb across my head
    Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
    And looking up I noticed I was late
    Found my coat and grabbed my hat
    Made the bus in seconds flat
    Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
    Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
    I read the news today oh boy
    Four-thousand holes in blackburn, lancashire
    And though the holes were rather small they had to count them all
    Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall
    I'd love to turn you on
  • I read the news today oh boy
    About a lucky man who made the grade
    And though the news was rather sad
    I just had to laugh
    I saw the photograph
    He blew is mind out in car
    He didn't notice that the lights had changed
    A crowd of people stood and stared
    They'd seen his face before
    Nobody was really sure
    If he was from the house of lords
    I saw a film today oh boy,
    The english army had just won the war
    A crowd of people turned away
    But I just had to look
    Having read the book
    I'd love to turn you on
    Woke up, fell out of bed
    Dragged a comb across my head
    Found my way downstairs and drank a cup
    And looking up I noticed I was late
    Found my coat and grabbed my hat
    Made the bus in seconds flat
    Found my way upstairs and had a smoke
    Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
    I read the news today oh boy
    Four-thousand holes in blackburn, lancashire
    And though the holes were rather small they had to count them all
    Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the albert hall
    I'd love to turn you on