It hurts to walk so I swim instead I sleep on the couch don't mess up the bed Big pot of soup I eat for a week When I move my joints often squeak My metabolic rate is so slow now It's measured by a calendar somehow Gunsmoke and MASH my favorite shows I can no longer feel my toes I'd go get the mail But I get out of breath angina Is also a serious threat If I sit down I'll fall asleep Slumped in my chair in one big heap I no longer like to navigate the store I have my groceries delivered to my door My doctor says I'm doing great I'll see a hundred at this rate My pressure's good my pulse is too I just need to improve my IQ This will have to be a wrap I'm fading fast it's time for a nap