Hell’s Greatest Dad
Ha ha.
Looks like you could use some help
from the big boss of Hell himself
Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on yelp
'Five Stars'
'Flawless'
'Greater than great!'
Oh, with a punch of a pentagram
I wap bap boom alakazam
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate!
'Thanks dad!'
Who needs a busboy now that you've got the chef
'Woh oh oh!'
Michelin tasting menu free a la carte
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref
Champagne fountains,
caviar mountains,
that's just a start!
Alastor: Who's been here since day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun?
Makes you chuckle with an old timey pun
Your executive producer
Charlie: That's true!
Alastor: I'm your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today?
Niffty: I was stuck, thank you, sir!
Charlie: Oh you!
Alastor: I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond
You're like the child that I wish that I had
Lucifer: Uh, what?
Alastor: I care for you just like a daughter I spawned
Lucifer: Hold on now!
Alastor: It's a little funny!
You could almost call me
dad
They say when you're looking for assistance
It's smart to pick the path of least resistance
Lucifer: Others say that in your needy hour
There's no substitute for pure angelic power
Who just happens to also be your blood
Alastor: Sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud
They say the family you choose is better
Lucifer: What a bunch of losers
Alastor: Can you butt out of my song?
Lucifer: Your song? I started this.
Alastor: I'm singing it, I'll finish it!
Mimzy: It's me!
Yes, it's me!
I know you were all waiting for me
I'm here
What a gas
Took a while but I'm present at last
It's me
It's me
Mimzzzzyyyyyyy
Lucifer: Who?