[00:00.000] 作词 : Bret McKenzie/Jemaine Clement
[00:01.000] 作曲 : Bret McKenzie/Jemaine Clement
[00:06.17]This is the strangest story that youˇll ever hear
[00:11.97]Unless you canˇt hear
[00:16.87]In which case, thisˇll be the weirdest tale that youˇve ever lip-read
[00:22.99]Iˇll tell you the story of a dangerous man
[00:26.54]Some say he was born with a gun in his hand
[00:30.65]An only child and a motherless son
[00:33.72]In his class he was the difficult one
[00:37.51]He had a predilection for killing and hating
[00:40.86]His name was an anagram of Satan
[00:44.24]Bad attitude, bad blood, bad grammar
[00:48.01]A man by his name of Stana
[00:58.50]Stana
[01:02.82]Talking about a bad man, London
[01:04.15]A very bad man
[01:05.17]An evil man
[01:07.00]His very name was a Satan-agram
[01:11.99]Heˇs the kind of man
[01:13.95]Who would walk around without any pants on
[01:16.86]And take a Viagra
[01:18.14]Just pop into town at the supermarket with an erection
[01:20.61]Man, heˇd poke babies in the eye
[01:24.08]Unrelated to the last fact
[01:28.15]Heˇd steal your goat. You donˇt know what he would do with it
[01:31.39]Bad things
[01:33.12]Heˇd steal your Wi-Fi
[01:36.05]His name is a Satan-agram
[01:38.28]Just like Santa, but he was nothing like Santa
[01:40.56]No, Santaˇs a wonderful man
[01:42.70]Who brings presents, comes down your chimney
[01:44.45]And brings you presents
[01:45.78]Whereas Stanaˇs a man
[01:47.06]Who just cums down your chimney
[01:48.88]Why would someone do that?
[01:51.98]Ruin a lovely fireside evening
[01:55.41]Well, thereˇre people
[01:57.20]They were sick of him groping their goats
[02:00.05]And raping their sheep
[02:02.58]Then one night
[02:04.23]They drugged his drink
[02:05.63]They try to sneak out while he was asleep
[02:09.22]But Stana awoke before they got out of town
[02:12.33]Because their drug was just too weak
[02:16.15]He gathered them ˉround, shot every one of them down
[02:19.54]Right there in the street
[02:27.37]He shot everybody in the town down
[02:30.39]And then you know what he said?
[02:34.13]He said, ¨Iˇm out of this place. This townˇs dead anyway.〃
[02:37.76]Heˇs kinda did it like that where the head went
[02:39.41]¨This townˇs dead anyway.〃
[02:41.25]¨Itˇs too soon, Stana.〃
[02:42.57]¨Thatˇs rude! What are you〃
[02:44.24]Heˇs literally adding insult to injury!
[02:48.49]He put on his hat
[02:50.22]Got on his horse
[02:52.28]To a new town
[02:53.78]He set his course
[02:55.94]Went to a place to grab a bite to eat
[02:58.91]Could not believe what he saw out on the street
[03:02.10]Outside where the wind blew in two directions
[03:05.58]Stana seemed to look at his own reflection
[03:08.97]A man identical to imperfection
[03:12.11]Same eyes, same lies, same sized erection
[03:22.86]Erection!
[03:26.98]I know what youˇre thinking. Youˇre thinking he had a big one. No
[03:29.72]Oh, you thought ˉcause he was a bad boy, heˇd have a big olˇ one
[03:32.75]You thought heˇd have a big huge-a-rooni
[03:35.26]No, no, no, no, no
[03:36.55]No, London. No, London
[03:39.59]Thatˇs a rumor put out by bad guys
[03:42.46]Oh, yeah
[03:44.90]¨Give me all your money, when they come, you say I had a big one.〃
[03:50.53]Well, I was just gonna mention, you know who does have a big ones, is musicians
[03:56.04]Well, they drew their guns
[03:58.02]Both at once and aimed their shots directly
[04:02.77]No one there had seen such a thing
[04:06.01]Well, itˇs not what youˇd expect to see
[04:09.56]Bullets flew at the very same time
[04:12.48]On a very same trajectory
[04:15.81]What I say is true
[04:17.65]ˉCause I was there
[04:18.98]And their bullets flew right next to me
[04:25.79]Then bullets stopped right there as they met in the air
[04:27.73]Then they fell to the ground without making a sound
[04:29.42]Each man dropped his jaw and fired five more
[04:31.14]Each pair of bullets was the same as before
[04:32.89]They raised their brows as they saw the side
[04:34.58]Of bullets as they stopped each other flight
[04:36.25]As though they were filled with pure elation
[04:37.98]They began to laugh ˉcause it was quite a funny situation
[04:46.97]Funny situation
[04:49.76]Turns out this other guyˇs name is Anats
[04:53.72]Satan-agram
[04:56.90]The two men couldnˇt shoot each other,
[04:58.42]ˉcause they were absolutely perfectly matched in every way
[05:01.93]So instead, they went to a cafe
[05:05.65]They started chatting
[05:06.66]Turned out they had more in common that just physical appearances
[05:08.83]Thatˇs right. Very similar experiences
[05:11.59]Theyˇd done a lot of the same things
[05:13.58]They loved the same kind of activities
[05:16.09]Like hurting people and maiming
[05:20.44]They got on like a house on fire
[05:21.87]Which is also one of the first things they did together
[05:25.61]They both shared a love for predatory large cats
[05:29.21]You know, tigers, lions, ocelots, lynxes
[05:36.76]You have any big cats here in London?
[05:41.53]Theyˇre like big beavers
[05:43.86]They donˇt have beavers
[05:43.95]They donˇt have beavers
[05:45.05]You guys donˇt have beavers
[05:45.53]WTF? Oh badgers
[05:49.49]Go out hunting for English beavers
[05:53.27]They became attached together
[05:55.31]Like a brain and a tumor
[05:56.84]Same taste, same hobbies, same sense of humor
[06:00.77]They bought a farm, started breeding puma
[06:03.75]They became lovers, well thatˇs the rumor
[06:07.16]Well, thatˇs what happened when Anats met Stana
[06:10.23]But they say we all got our doppelganger
[06:13.84]That might be false, but it might be true
[06:17.31]What would you do if you met you?
[06:22.14]Thatˇs the real question
[06:23.60]What would you do if you met yourself
[06:25.62]If you were confronted by your own person?
[06:30.56]Maybe youˇd look at that other you in the eye
[06:34.65]And just think
[06:37.08]¨I understand you. Because I am you.〃
[06:45.21]And youˇd walk up to that person
[06:48.54]And youˇd hold them
[06:50.33]The way youˇve always wanted to be held
[06:53.18]But no oneˇs ever got it quite right
[06:55.66]Sometimes theyˇve done it too tightly
[06:57.92]Sometimes theyˇve done it too loosely
[06:59.36]With their arms all floppy like spaghetti, dangling around
[07:05.40]But this hug between you and that other you
[07:08.61]Is a perfect consistency of hug
[07:14.54]Then, while youˇre there with your hands around yourself
[07:17.55]You think, ¨Well, I wonder what my butt feels like.〃
[07:21.92]And you just like, you know, like, spider-walk one of your hands down to your other selfˇs butt hole
[07:30.85]And give it a little squeeze
[07:31.96]And ¨Whoa! Whatˇs happening back there?〃
[07:33.65]The other youˇs doing the same thing
[07:36.67]Hello. Is this wrong?
[07:44.71]And then you wonder, ¨I wonder if Iˇm a good kisser.〃
[07:50.16]So you kiss that other you
[07:52.77]And you know what? Straight away
[07:56.34]It feels right, it feels good
[07:59.58]It feels like love
[08:04.71]Theyˇve fallen in love
[08:06.41]An emotional connection
[08:08.11]Two very evil men
[08:09.92]With minuscule erections
[08:13.52]Stana and Anats
[08:15.02]Anats and Stana
[08:16.79]Looking after each other now
[08:18.46]Looking after panthers
[08:22.31]They used to murderinˇ, murderinˇ, murderinˇ
[08:24.08]Now they cuddlinˇ, cuddlinˇ, cuddlinˇ
[08:25.80]Used to be threateninˇ, threateninˇ, threateninˇ,
[08:27.51]Now theyˇre getting big cats and pettinˇ em
[08:29.26]Used to be homicidal and killinˇ
[08:31.03]Now theyˇre in a domicile and chillinˇ
[08:32.61]Used to be slayinˇ, slayinˇ, slayinˇ
[08:34.26]Now theyˇre gayinˇ, gayinˇ, gayinˇ
[08:36.89]Now theyˇre in love
[08:39.26]Theyˇre fallinˇ in love
[08:49.93]They found a little love